The Six Most Common Sexual Fetishes

By on September 18, 2016

As a whole, the U.S. has the reputation for being a conservative, puritanical culture as it relates to sex.  But there is a portion of American society that believes in exploring certain aspects of sexual activity that fall outside of what is considered “normal” – such as fetishes.  Once considered a taboo subject, fetishes take many forms, and have been slowly merging into mainstream American life – from a preoccupation with a specific object like shoes or leather, to the actual indulgence of a specific sexual act.  But no matter the fetish, the most important aspect to keep in mind is that all persons concerned must agree on what is to occur, and how it transpires, because enjoying the full experience of the fetish requires that there always be an honest and direct communication at all time.  So with that in mind, we offer six of the most common sexual fetishes enjoyed by more than just a few people.

Domination and Submission … This is one of the more regularly performed fetishes, with variations that include whipping, spanking, and the use of wrist and ankle restraints.  These practices are utilized to establish the relationship structure between the person being dominated, and the person taking control of the sexual situation.  Scott Jacobey, Ph.D, a sex therapist who specializes in alternative sexual behaviors, states that many people crave the role reversal in this fetish, because it affords them the opportunity to privately escape, and safely explore a different side of their character, free of the pressures and constraints of everyday responsibility.

Objects …  Closely affiliated with Domination and Submission, objects like leather, vinyl, and latex are often eroticized, and considered extremely sexual – in part, because the close fitting nature of these items adds to the sexual allure.  According to Justin Sitron, Ph.D, a professor of human sexuality at Widener University, leather has a lot of power, because it represents the archetype bad-boy image.  And this type of power is also affiliated with women’s shoes – specifically stiletto heels – which are viewed by most men as an erotically-charged symbol of feminine sexual strength.

Role Play … Samantha Leigh Allen, an expert in sexual fetishism at Emory University, states that this type of fetish is easy for people to integrate into their lives, because many of the roles that people assume were very likely formed in their childhood.  This fetish usually involves dressing up in different clothes or costumes, in order to enhance the overall experience, as well as requiring the participants to employ a “suspension of disbelief” by assuming the mental role of the character they are playing.  And while seductive costumes (school girls, French maids, etc.) are usually the domain of women, men can also get into the act by wearing outfits (firemen, lumberjacks, etc.) that are stimulating for women.

Threesome … Sex with two women at the same time is said to be the foremost sexual fetish for men – though there are quite a few women who enjoy this fetish as well.  While this has always been a practice for long-standing couples looking for variety in their sexual lives, in recent years, younger couples have taken to this fetish to explore the bounds of their sexuality.  Numerous studies have shown that having a threesome can be rejuvenating for a relationship that has hit a monotonous phase, as well as helping to create a bond of closeness through more open communication.  In turn, many of these relationships grow to become a foursome or even group sex – which is known as Swinging – which is a hugely popular activity in many parts of the world.

Butts & Anal Sex … This is more common of a fetish than most people actually realize, because both men and women understand the natural affinity for a nice butt.  According to Dr. Jacobey, “The human species is naturally attracted to butts; it’s a pretty common object of fantasy for both men and women.”  This attraction is known as pygophilia, and makes no difference whether it is an extra-wide butt or a super-compact butt.  This is because size has no bearing on the amount of nerve endings in the rectum – which are numerous – and are believed to be the reason why anal sex produces such intense orgasms.  This allure explains why anal sex is enjoyed by so many people, and why this fetish can be so easily integrated into a regular, everyday relationship.

Voyeurism … This term is derived from the French word “voir” and means “to see.”  This fetish is for someone who becomes sexually aroused from secretly watching a person or people undress and/or engage in some manner of sexual activity; technically, watching porn falls under this category, making everyone who watches it a voyeur.  Interestingly, a study in the Archives of Sexual Behavior reports that this fetish is rooted in childhood, and stems from a natural curiosity about things that were taught to be hidden, taboo or private – like sex.  The study also revealed that this is predominately a male fetish, which explains why pornography is so popular with men.

And there is our primer on sexual fetishes.  Some people may see some of these fetishes as “ordinary” and nothing more than “fantasy,” but the truth of the matter is that a fetish is really just a specific type of fantasy.  And since most people have fantasies about their sexual life, it is especially important to have open and frank discussions about them with your partner; doing so may cement an already solid relationship or may add a certain spice to pique a specific sexual appetite.   No matter the reason, sexual fetishes are, and always should be, all about what heightens you and your partner’s level of sexual arousal and pleasure.  And that is a very good thing.


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